HUGH’S
DIARY
HUGH’S
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April 1I’ve been thinking about blogging (keeping a diary on the internet) for a while. The only problem is that when it comes to writing things down I can get in a real twist, unless I just do it off the top of my head, and that can have it’s problems as well, as you never know what is going to come out. I’ve
never kept a diary like this before – or did I for a while when I was younger?
I kept a lot of notes the month I spent in the Holy Land in 1999, but I
didn’t have much else to do except take in the experience.
It could become quite selfish and indulgent, just looking for an audience
for your view. Why
am I doing it? My passion at the
moment is Project 2030 and the Twentysomethings and the Thirtysomethings groups.
Whatever I do I want to help the groups, and much of what I write will be
to do with the groups. The blogg will only be advertised through the groups.
But will it be helpful? Hopefully
people will get a better idea of what is happening in the other groups, but then
people might become afraid to speak to me. They’ll be asking themselves: “Is this going to go into
Hugh’s diary?” Do I mention the
person who emailed recently because they were not happy that another event was
being arranged near the time of their event, or the person who rang concerned
about someone in the group? Obviously
people’s identities have to be concealed, but is that enough? April 2 Anyway,
I’m going to keep this diary for a few weeks then I’ll email it to some
family, friends, colleagues and especially people in the groups who use email
and internet quite a bit, and ask them what they think. Also
it gives me a chance to see if I can keep it up. No point in fanfaring it to see it fizzle out within a month.
Do I have enough energy to keep it going?
Is it just a silly phase I’m going through?
As
I write I can feel a lot of energy for it, but as St Ignatius reminds us, if you
feel too excited about something, it often means that it is not coming from the
Holy Spirit, and you should be careful about making decisions when you feel like
that. The Spirit is to be seen more
clearly when we just feel moderately up about something.
And the opposite, if we feel really depressed about something, that is
not coming from the Holy Spirit. We
should avoid making decisions when we are really down.
But if we feel a bit down and uneasy about something, that is often the
Spirit nudging us to make some kind of adjustment. So
is it the Spirit leading me to do this blogg/diary on the internet?
Time will tell, and the response of others.
Is it going to help spread the word? The
other big issue is – do I have enough energy?
Do I have enough discipline to keep it going when the novelty wears off?
But maybe it could energise me and give me more focus in the work of the
groups. We’ll see. Spend
quite a bit of the morning phoning round joiners to get some wooden Dehonian
crosses made. They are not much
more than an inch each way with a heart in the middle. People who went to Germany and India received them.
They also sell them at Malpas. We
use the cross on the Project 2030 letterhead.
I mean to use it more for posters, etc.
Want to get some done especially for the European Gathering at Malpas in
August, but also generally to send round the groups.
None of the local joiners have the machinery for that kind of thing.
I end up phoning Leeds. They
advise me to contact a sign maker, but even they draw a blank.
If anyone knows of anyone who can do that kind of thing in wood then let
us know. Touch wood, we’ll get
some eventually (touch wood originally meant touching the Wood of the Cross).
The original ones were made in Italy. April 3 Booked
the room for the 20s November meeting in Dublin on May 26 at the Earl of Kildare
Hotel, Kildare Street. We’ve
discovered at the last newcomers meeting for the 30s in Dublin that only 3 out
of 30 saw the details or the posters. The
others saw it in the parish newsletter. But the 20s at their last review meeting were keen that a
poster goes up as well. The
advantage of the poster is that it stays up for quite a while and people can
tear off the phone number and email address.
They often ring up months later when they rediscover the number in their
wallet. Also
confirmed with Fr John Kelly SCJ the day for the Dublin 20s at 66 Inchicore Rd
on 13 June, but his day with the Dublin 30s on ‘Exploring your dreams’ might
need to be moved to 6 June. Unusually,
I’ve got a free weekend and am enjoying having a Saturday at Stockport.
Once a year a friend of a friend can get tickets for my brother, nephew
and myself for Man Utd. We were supposed to go to the Charlton game today until it
turned out to be the semi-final of the cup against Arsenal. That’s why I had nothing else booked. April 4 Last
month I received a letter from our headquarters in Rome and I have to reply by
15 April. The founder of the Sacred
Heart Fathers, the Venerable Leo John Dehon (that’s why we use the title
Dehonians more) is likely to be beatified next year. All the processes have been completed and it just needs the
Pope’s final approval. Rome
wants to produce a book for the occasion on different aspects of the life and
spirituality of Leo Dehon, and they’ve asked me if I’d like to do a chapter.
It
is 20 years since I did my two year course on Spirituality in Rome and I’ve
not kept up to date enough on the research that has been done on our Founder, so
I feel I have to say no to the invitation.
I had considered doing something on “Dehon and his ministry to young
adults”. As a young priest he
went in 1871 to his first parish in St Quentin, north east of Paris.
Very few of the young adults came to Mass, but within a few years he had
built up an association of over 300 young workers who got involved with the
Church at all kinds of different levels. The
example of our Founder obviously played a big part in inspiring me to set up
Project 2030, and it is the kind of work many of our priests do in different
parts of the world. Maybe I could
have taken a week from my holiday time in June and gone to Rome and done some
research in our Archives. After I
had written to Rome I regretted a bit saying no.
Maybe what I wrote would be as good as anyone else, but what I have
written I have written, or, as Pilate didn’t say,”Quod non scripsi, non
scripsi”. Obviously
for the diary I’m just picking out a few things from the day that I think will
be interesting to people. I might
give the impression that I don’t have very much to do. Then again, I sometimes might give the impression I have a
lot to do. It’s somewhere in the
middle. April 5 Quite
a few last minute phone calls and emails about our Holy Week gathering at St
Joseph’s, Malpas. We have a full
house again. Most are from the
north west, but there are quite a few from London and Glasgow. I thank the new secretary at Malpas for all she’s done for
us by taking the bookings. She says
how impressed she’s been by the people who have been ringing up and wants to
know more about the groups. This
reminds me of the first big party we had in London last August downstairs in The
Penderel’s Oak. I was on the main
door, and a guy at the bar who has been watching everyone arrive comes up and
asks: “Are all these people Church people?”
When I say yes he says “You can tell there’s something different
about them.” He means it as a
compliment, and I take it as a compliment.
As it says in the Book of Revelations 22:4, “His name will be written
on their foreheads.” Will
I keep up writing as much as this. I
doubt it. What happens during
holidays? Maybe I could get people
from the groups to write in their own ideas, or do a guest column.
I suppose I’ll need to let people send in comments about what I write,
or ask questions. April 6 Also
booked some talks for the Glasgow 20s at Hill St for May and June.
Patricia is going to talk about her experience with the Alpha course (in
London after the Lenten retreat we considered doing the Alpha course as a group,
but decided to follow the ‘At your word, Lord’ course first), and a friend
of hers aged 22 who is training to be a Church of Scotland minister is going to
talk about being a Christian from a different perspective.
The third one will be a Question and Answer session by yours truly,
unless I can find another speaker to save me from the wolves.
No, it’s not that bad. We
did a Q and A once before and I don’t think I got stuck, though I remember
later checking up the New Catechism to check that I had not led people astray.
Which reminds me that the London 20s also want me to do a Q and A session
soon, but I don’t think I have any weekends left between now and the summer. It’s
interesting how in Scotland the groups are energised more by talks and
discussions. This could be because
people usually have a stronger network of Catholic friends to socialise
with, and feel the need of being able to “defend the faith”.
In Dublin where most people are at least nominally Catholic, there are
plenty of groups that cater for the more spiritual/religious side of things, so
the 2030 groups are more interested in socialising with others who take their
faith seriously. The groups in
England are somewhere in between, having a good mix of the social and the
spiritual. Catholics in England are
usually more isolated so they are glad of anything that brings them together and
gives them a chance to meet up with like-minded people. Watched
the Arsenal V Chelsea game. I
always support the home teams in Europe, but when they are playing each other,
who do I want to win? I’m not
telling you. More importantly I
keep zapping the teletext to see how my team Morton are doing. They draw and go to the top of the Scottish Second Division.
I’ve only seen them once this season. April 7 Today
attended the Chrism Mass of the Shrewsbury Diocese which was held in a
neighbouring parish in Stockport. At
this Mass the oils are blessed for use in the sacraments for the following year.
The priests also renew their commitment.
The Mass is designed to be said on Holy Thursday when Jesus ordained the
disciples to “do this is memory of me”.
Most of the priests of the diocese were there.
It gives me a great sense of solidarity.
Yet I can’t but help reflect that the average age of the priests is
high, and they are all white. On
our visit to India in February it was great to see so many young men preparing
for priesthood with the Sacred Heart Fathers (Dehonians).
I told them to think about coming to Europe as missionaries.
We’ll need them soon. And
the Church throughout the world has always been stronger where there is a
missionary presence. I look forward
to the day when there will be Indian missionaries here.
The group that went to India is looking at ways to raise funds for them.
But we still need more people here to consider seriously whether God
might be calling them to be priests. The
good thing is that I know some people are seriously thinking about it. Received
a CD from Chris with the (almost) final version of our 8 page colour magazine.
It’s looking good and should be out soon.
We’ll send copies to all the parishes and help spread the message about
the groups. Sent
out an email reminder to all the groups about the weekend in Knock, Ireland, 14
– 17 May. Have been a few times
to this shrine where the local people over a hundred years ago had a vision of
the Lamb of God. The last time I
was there was 2002 when Liam Rooney was ordained.
Liam happens to be in my community here in Stockport.
He helps me out with information about a good B and B.
When I phone it turns out that the grand daughter of the couple goes to
our parish school next door. April 8 I’m
thinking that I’m not going to be able to write as much as this each day.
It’s good fun, but writing has not usually been something that comes to
me spontaneously, unless I take the chance to do it off the top of my head,
stream of consciousness stuff. Someone
suggests writing once a week would be sufficient.
But would it be worthwhile doing it then.
It’s strange, but even though nobody has read this diary yet, it is
making me feel more in contact with the people in the groups.
I always said I was a group person.
And it is also energising me in other ways even though the writing does
my head in. Sometimes it’s easier
to say things publicly to a number of people than it is to say to individuals,
or even admit to ourselves. Been
trying to clear the desk and inbox before heading to St Joseph’s, Malpas in
Cheshire. 30 of us are gathering
for Holy Week. Preparing and
celebrating the Services of the Paschal Triduum will be the centre of our days
together, but there will also be time for walks and exploring Cheshire and just
chilling out. The
centre of the Maundy Thursday Mass is the washing of the feet.
Someone has heard of a cathedral where they have been told to use
individual towels for people. Is that health and safety gone mad? Or is that why Peter refused to have his feet washed by
Jesus! The lowest of the servants would normally do the dirty jobs.
Jesus proves in so many different ways that he gives himself totally.
But he is also telling us in his mandate/Maundy that we should wash each
other’s feet and love one another as he loved us. We’re
not on retreat, but this year no-one goes down to the pubs in Malpas.
When we had a weekend here in September on Christian vocation we had a
lock-in at one of the locals. Is
there a connection? Instead people
spend more time before the Blessed Sacrament, keeping Jesus company in the
Garden of Gethsemane. For some
people this was the high point of the weekend, accompanied as it was by the
tooting of owls. It’s
great to wake up in the sunshine in the country. Breakfast, morning prayer, ice-breakers, then preparing the 3
pm service. The hour long walk
before lunch turns out to last an hour and a half, so we are late for our soup
and rolls. Most people are from the
groups in the North west, but there are about 10 from London and Glasgow. Most
of the ceremony takes place in the gardens, though the group who have prepared
the Passion use the main staircase in the house for the crucifixion.
At the veneration of the Cross we are given a twig of wood to remind us
of what God has done for us. “Touch
wood” as they said in mediaeval times, “God willing”. In
the evening a group has prepared the Stations of the Cross while some go to
Chester to see “The Passion of the Christ”.
Most found it very good, though one found the violence too much. I saw
the film in Dublin the other week. On
the one hand it moved me, yet it manipulated my emotions less than your average
film. There are a few
non-scriptural bits I would have left out, but I will go and see it again to try
and let the reality of what happened to Jesus sink in more. We
finished the evening with a quiz, which has become a bit of a tradition for Good
Friday. Our team won every time,
thanks mainly to Gavin. Holy
Saturday. Nigel has volunteered to
do morning prayer, mainly because he was keen to include the Holy Saturday
sermon from the Office of Readings which had struck him at Westminster Cathedral
morning service. I could not
remember it, so was very impressed when Martin knew what it was all about. The
morning followed the same programme as Good Friday, then people were free to go
out for the day. Some went to
Chester or Whitchurch while others took the chance of a longer walk.
Jeremy had taken a collection for the party after the Vigil.
It reminded us of the 6 visitors we had last year from a 2030 type group
run by our priests in Germany. I
had picked them up at the bus station in Chester.
I couldn’t resist remarking on the heaviness of the backpacks, but all
was revealed when we came out from the Easter Vigil and they presented each of
us with chocolates and bottle of beer they had brought from home.
In Germany they are usually off both for Lent. I
didn’t go out for the day, taking a chance to get some space and recharge my
batteries. These days are very
enjoyable, but you are always thinking what is next or helping people prepare
their part of the ceremony, like, can you find a sponge for Adam for the
crucifixion or a vase for Veronica for the flowers, etc, etc.
So it’s good to take some time out, though I end up adding to Nick’s
newsletter for the NW 20s. Ged
pops in to Malpas for lunch. He’s
just got a new job with the Diocese of Shrewsbury.
I tell him he was on my email list to receive a copy of this diary and
see what he thinks. He’s never
heard of blogging, so it can’t be that current a term if Mr Computer hasn’t
even heard about it. He tells me to
get a hit counter for the diary web page which had been my intention as I
don’t want to be writing this and nobody reading it. For
the Vigil we did not try and repeat the massive Easter fire our German friends
had built last year on the hill overlooking the Dee valley.
Even though they had dug out a circle of turf temporarily, the grass
around had been scorched for months, though a good reminder that God’s fire
had been there. This
year Nick returned to fire-making duties and we all made our contribution to the
flames by throwing in a sheet of paper asking God to take from us what we did
not need, then a sheet where we asked God to give us what we do need. The
night was calm so we were able to light our candles outside.
“The light of Christ has come into the world.” At
the Vigil, before the renewal of baptismal vows, everyone was invited
individually to “rise up” as their candle was lit. Then they were sprinkled one by one with the new Easter
water. In all, our Vigil lasted two
and a half hours, but people still had plenty of energy for the party that
followed. I beat a hasty retreat
before the witching hour, and not just to avoid Patricia’s chocolate and
marshmallow sandwiches. April 11 Easter
Sunday. Everyone’s looking
surprisingly bright the morning after the night before.
After morning prayer we spend some time reviewing our days together.
Do people have ideas for next Easter or for doing other things like this?
I mention that Malpas is
booked for the summer of 2005 for a silent retreat from a Monday to Friday.
This causes quite a stir with some saying they could never keep quiet
while other have experienced that kind of retreat and recommend it. This
summer we have the European Gathering at Malpas on 9 – 13 August.
I stress this is not a European meeting to which we have been invited,
but it is our week and we have invited people from other countries to come and
join us. There will be plenty of
time for fun and reflection, with a day out in North Wales.
So far people are coming from North and South Italy, Spain and Portugal. The
only disappointment for me is that we never managed a game of football.
Last year, with the Germans on our side, the Rest of the World beat
England. It will be interesting to
see who wins our ‘European Cup’ in August.
Liam suggests that we also set up volleyball on the old tennis court for
the summer. Over
the weekend I’ve been thinking who could go with us to the Dehonian European
Meeting in Portugal in October in preparation for the World Youth Days in
Cologne in 2005. Chris has already
said he would love to go. This is
not a reward for editing the magazine (though I’d left a proof copy of the
eight page colour magazine lying around at Malpas and people were very
impressed), but Chris was in Germany at the European Gathering and was on a
committee that wrote out a way forward for younger Catholics who were associated
with Dehonian Communities. Before
we leave Malpas I ask Helen if she would also like to come to Portugal in
October. She was in Toronto with us
for the last World Youth Day. She
is a veteran of our gatherings at Malpas (not to say Dehon House) and she has
been involved with the Twentysomethings groups in the North-West and London.
She’ll let me know soon if she can get away that weekend. After
Mass we head for an early pub lunch at the Egerton Arms.
Then people head for home, having enjoyed their Holy Week. Our
thanks to the community and staff at St Joseph’s, Fr Chris, the Director, was
away doing the Holy Week walk to Iona. Bro
Richard and the others spoiled us as usual.
It was also good to meet our two Indonesian priests who were here “to
learn the English”, Fr Wanto and Fr Santo. April 12 It’s
Bank Holiday, but I seem to spend most of the morning in the office.
As usual in the office I don’t know where the time has gone.
As I’m away tomorrow for 6 days I try to clear the desk and emails.
There’s a reminder to the Glasgow 20s about the newcomers’ meeting on
Wednesday, and one to the group in the North-West to say that Jane can still
take bookings for the next weekend in the Lake District. It’s
almost one o’clock now and I have to start getting ready for the wedding of
Matt and Michelle nearby in Altrincham. It’s
1.15 before I look at the A to Z and realise that it’s further away than I
thought for the 2.00 start. Fortunately
the church turns out to be near Sean’s place where William (brother), Stephen
(nephew) and I pick up the tickets for our annual visit to the Old Trafford and
I make it with 10 minutes to spare. This
beats the time when I dropped off Fr Ike half an hour early at the wedding of
Margaret and Steve in Chester. Could
I find a parking space? Surely the
bride will be late. They have a
photograph of me slinking up the Church steps as Margaret descends from vehicle
registered 1 DO. In
his sermon Fr Peter points me out as the match-maker. Michelle joined the Twentysomethings early on but disappeared
from view for a while, as people do. Matt
meanwhile joined and also helped with the music ministry, as well as leading the
CAfe (yes CAfe) programme. Michelle
was invited to our first Project 2030 wedding last Easter Monday (Ailish and Leo
had met at Malpas in Holy Week 2001!). Meeting
up with the group again she decided to go on the pilgrimage to Iona in May.
She ended up sitting beside Matt in the minibus on the way to Oban, and
the rest is geography. When
the groups started someone who came said, “I hope this isn’t just like a
Catholic singles club, where people are just looking for a wife.”
I said I hope it isn’t either, but I’d be delighted if people found
someone through it, because my own parents met through the Legion of Mary.
And the story has it that the priest set them up.
Each week at the meeting members were given a task, and the priest sent
them together round the sick to tell them when he would be bringing communion. The
Mass was a cheerful, musical and solemn occasion. I was asked to give the nuptial blessing, then present the
newly-weds with the papal blessing at the end of Mass.
There was quite a time as usual before the meal, so I confess that I took
the chance to sit in the car and catch up on writing this diary, as Malpas had
been too busy at times to catch breath. At
the meal I’m sitting next to Liam and friends of the couple from University.
They are interested in this Twentysomething thing.
Suzanne has been to the 20s a few times in London.
I don’t recognise her with her hat on. Someone
says how hard it is to be a Catholic at work these days.
People immediately think you are a fundamentalist, even a terrorist.
That’s one of the main reasons for the group, to give people space so
that they can enjoy being Catholics together without people thinking they are
weird. I put the point that
religion is a force for good when peoples have been conquered and dominated.
The last thing that can be taken away is their faith, and so it becomes a
focus of their identity. Witness
Poland, Ireland, Yugoslavia. The
problem is when politicians get in and exploit people’s faith which leads to
violence. I admit, this explanation, even if true, is not much
consolation if you are living in an environment which is fundamentalist in a
secular, liberal and atheistic way and where people worship other Gods which the
Church will not bow to. At
the speeches the priests are presented with a bottle of wine.
I give it to Liam who is going to bring it to Iona next month where we
can toast Michelle and Matt. People
seem shy to use the little camera that has been provided on the table, so I go
a-wandering to catch some of the bridal party, talking to the guests.
The parents express their gratitude to me for helping the couple to get
together. They are both good
Catholic families and Matt and Michelle are both strong in their faith and
active in their parishes, so they are well-suited to each other in more ways
than one. I see them together and
get someone to take a photograph of the three of us before I say goodbye. 13 April Intending
to head north today. There’s a
new members meeting in Glasgow tomorrow for the 20s. Hoping to get away a day early, but get sucked back into the
office. Find myself going back over
the proof copy of the magazine. I
make corrections and additions. Originally
it was to be directed at the people on the postal list who don’t receive email
reports on the joint events. There
have been some brilliant write-ups and also talks that have been given by
members of the groups at different times. But
it would take a massive magazine to contain them all (see the web page www.project2030.org.uk
for some of these reports), and who is going to read page and page of print that
arrives all at once. So the
magazine will be more directed to newcomers and publicity in the parishes.
We might work out a subscription service so that people with no email
(and they are the minority now) could receive reports by mail every few months. Sometimes
I can drive Celia and Clare, who help me with the office work, to distraction by
the way I can go back over things and change what I’ve written. Then there are
other times when it just comes off the top of the head and I don’t worry about
what I’ve written. The diary is
easy like that, but then I’m only describing what has already happened, not
making decisions for the future. Celia
and Clare are identical twins who have worked for the Sacred Heart Fathers at
Malpas for twenty years. They also
do quite a few hours a week for Project 2030 – emails, newsletters, mailings,
dealing with new people, keeping lists up to date, phone calls, etc. It’s
nearly lunch-time and I realise that I’m not going to get away early enough to
drive to Scotland. Although I’m
north of the border regularly this is the first time in a year I’ve taken the
car. I avoid driving distances if I
can, but I’m going to need the car for the Lake District at the weekend.
I phone my brother, William, and say I’ll be up on Wednesday.
I get away in the afternoon and stay in a B and B in Carlisle overnight. Iona
pops up again today. While
travelling up the motorway there’s a play on the radio about the founding of
the Iona community in the 1930s. George
MacLeod, a Church of Scotland minister, gets into trouble for being too Roman
when he sets about restoring the old mediaeval monastery on the island.
What I didn’t realise was that he was subsidised by the Lithgows who
owned the shipyard my father worked for in Port Glasgow. I
realise this is the first night I’ve been away on my own since the Christmas
holidays. I’ve been able to stay
a few nights with the family since then, but most times I get away for a few
days to a retreat centre or some other place for a bit of quiet and recharge the
batteries. Last week I got a letter
from John who is a retired Methodist minister I knew around Malpas.
He said when he saw the Project 2030 main events sheet for 2004 it could
look as though my life was one long holiday.
I don’t do so badly, and I enjoy very much the weekends and pilgrimages
with the groups, but I won’t be going to the more exotic places this year like
Barcelona, Cuba and York. The times
away are the best for getting to know each other.
You could sense the spirit and friendship grow last week at Malpas. But I have also come to understand more what they mean by
“a busman’s holiday”. That’s
why I enjoyed the Lake District so much last year.
It was the first weekend we April 14 Today
heading for Glasgow for the 20s New Members Meeting. I have plenty of time so am hoping to get in a good walk on
the way, but not too strenuous as I’m playing golf with my brother tomorrow. Not
very hopeful of a good turn out this evening as Celtic are on the television
playing Villareal in the Uefa Cup. Normally
we are very careful about checking our dates for these kind of games.
The mistake this time was that I’d checked and saw there were no
Champion League games on tonight. The
Uefa games are usually on the same weeks, and on Thursday nights.
And it’s not just the guys who are into the football.
Some of the women are season ticket holders or went to Seville last year. A
few years ago we arranged a retreat day in Glasgow on Mother’s Day.
There was a Rangers v Celtic match on the television and the weather was
foul, but we still reached double figures.
If we get that tonight I’ll be happy….. …..We
almost made double figures, with a few apologies, and some “if it hadn’t
been for the matches”. Others
have seen the notice at church and have rung or emailed.
The other good thing is that usually we don’t like asking parish
priests to advertise us too often, but we can have another newcomers meeting
before the summer and get it into newsletters with the excuse that we clashed
with the match. One
thing we’ve always known about getting new people to come is that, even if you
are quite confident, it’s still a big step going into a new group of people.
In another area someone once told me that they had walked up and down
outside when we were meeting and were afraid to come in - on two different
occasions. Last night Mairi, or was it Lucy, came up with a good
suggestion – that we advertise it as an Information Evening, so people realise
they are coming along without any pressure to join. The
old stagers were doing most of the talking so we left the new people to chat
among themselves for a while, and we got some ideas together for the next
programme. Besides the talks
we’ve got a ceilidh (a wild Scottish dance), a walk, curling, bowls (on grass)
and a visit to Edinburgh. April 15 Last
night stayed with my younger brother, William, in Wemyss Bay.
We’re hoping to play golf in the afternoon.
All of the men in the family, and most of the men in Scotland, play some
golf. Thursday is usually my day
off. How am I going to deal with
that in the diary? Can’t just write a combination of: had a quiet day, went to
the baths, visited the library, saw a film, went for a walk, etc.
And I don’t want to have to do any writing on a Thursday.
Likely I’ll just write a reflection or something else over the week and
put that in. Then there’s
holidays. Maybe I’ll ask for
guest contributors. There’s
plenty of willing writers around in the group. Today
will be a day off with the family. I
have two brothers and one sister, 7 nieces and nephews (6 in the 25 – 35
range), and now 4 great-nieces and nephews.
They mostly live within 25 miles west of Glasgow, near the river Clyde. I’m
picking up my older brother, Michael, at 10.00 Mass in Greenock as he’s having
an MOT done at my nephew’s garage. Afterwards
we go and visit out aunt, Sister Helena, who is looking after the retired Bishop
of Paisley. It’s good to see the
Bishop, who ordained me in 1976. Lunch
is at my sister Margaret’s in Port Glasgow.
The golf idea has to be dropped because of the rain.
This gives us plenty of time to chat.
Michael looks at the proof copy of the 2030 magazine and comes up with
some good ideas. A
leisurely day. In the evening I
visit an elderly aunt. I had hoped
to get a new mobile phone today to replace the one I lost. It turns out that my niece has an old one in good condition,
so we get that going. No excuse
now.
April 16 After
10.00 Mass at the Cathedral in Paisley, headed south for the weekend at
Castlerigg Manor, Keswick in the Lake District. Last year I declared the same weekend to be the best weekend
I had had with Project 2030, mainly because it was the first weekend where I had
not been involved in the organisation of things. Also because it was a very nice place and we had a very
scenic walk on the Saturday. At
the first service station on the A74 I called in to get an Orange swipe card,
but when I rang 453 they told me I had no money left. At the next station they had no top-up vouchers either, but
the lady in the shop got through for me and activated the swipe card.
I made a call to my sister Margaret, and sent a text to my brother
Michael to say “we have lift off”. Usually
I switch my mobile off. I only give
my number out on occasions when we need to keep in contact.
I couldn’t cope with people ringing all the time to ask where we are
supposed to meet in London for a walk, etc, while I’m in Dublin or Glasgow.
I can get messages any time from my land line ansaphone. Last
year I went through a phase of practicing how fast I could text.
I remember texting Radio 5 on 85058 one morning before breakfast to
comment on a report from Iraq during the war. “You better watch Gilligan.
He’s going native.” This
was a few months before he made his controversial broadcast accusing the Prime
Minister of lying. Just
outside Keswick, about 4.30m, I’m struck by an interview of Radio 5.
The Rev Jepson, a young female vicar from Chester, has won a judicial
review of a case where a 24 week unborn child was aborted because it had a cleft
palate. The Rev Jepson had had the
same complaint when she was younger. I
text Radio 5 to say I thought the interviewer had been very insensitive to her.
At 5.45 their headline implied she was mainly interested in going after
the doctors. I texted to remind
them she was more interested in defending the unborn child and they were
demonising her. At 6.15 their
headline said she “denied she was leading a witch hunt”.
I text for a third time to say it is the BBC who are leading a witch hunt
against her. At 6.30 she gets
dropped from the headlines. I’m
not sure if this is a good thing or not. You
can rarely win against the media. I
write to the Rev Jepson in support, telling her about how the BBC presented her
case and telling her about my texts. I
also take the chance to invite her to come and give a talk to the group some
time. At
the Youth Centre some have arrived already, but others are delayed because of
problems with the trains. We are
going out for a meal. We drive a
few miles out of town to a lovely place by the lake.
I’m not eating too late, so I drive back and pick up the stragglers.
It’s a leisurely meal and it is almost 11.00 before we are back.
Most people are ready for bed. Must
be the country air. Damien gives me
some bedtime reading, a tome by Hans Urs Von Balthasar, ‘The Glory of the
Lord’. April 17 Early
Mass for the brave at 8.00 am. Cooked
breakfast and real porridge. Castlerigg
Manor is the Diocesan Youth Centre for the Lancaster Diocese, similar to Dehon
House where I was based until last year. Good
to see Phil who is working here after his two years at Dehon and Dublin.
He’s also known to those who went to Germany last year. People
have different ideas of the kind of walk to do. Damien and I decide to tackle Skiddaw while the others go for
something gentler. Skiddaw is one
of the four hills over 3000 feet in the Lakes.
The highest car park, just out of town, gives you a good start, but the
first part is very steep. A pleasant day to begin with.
Further up the wind is fierce and cold.
But the views were magnificent. We
discuss the state of the media, the challenges of the world, difficulties of
those who have no faith, and the insights of Von Balthasar, etc.
At the top we shelter for a while against the wind and tackle the jaffa
cakes. We pass a munching sheep and
Damien teasingly asks, “Do they know they exist?”
Certainly not in the way we do, but we often under-estimate animals and
dismiss their instincts. When I share that I make decisions based mainly on how I feel
about things at an instinctual, physical level, on the rightness of things, it
seems trite compared to the heady conversation we have been having. Later
in the day, when I am reading some Von Balthasar, I am reminded how he wants to
approach theology and our exploration of God and life from the angle of what is
beautiful. This relates more to the
heart, whereas theology is usually more concerned with what is true (through the
head) or what is good and moral (through the body and our instincts).
So maybe my preferred way of making decisions does not seem so trite
after all. Damien
takes a longer path down to explore other areas, while I head to the car and a
plate of soup. Just three hours up
and down’ I didn’t think I
would have made it. Two years ago I
struggled up Snowdon with the group and was dizzy the next day. But last year I climbed it again at my own pace and felt
okay. Today we took it easy.
When I got to the bottom I drove along to see the path Damien was taking
down and it looked quite a challenge. I
thought of an episode here last year and I was worried for a while, but he made
it down safely and got back before the rain came on. What
happened last year is an episode I repeated often, especially when I wanted to
‘scandalise’ people who comment on mobiles ringing during Mass.
Had my phone go off twice while I was celebrating Mass last year at
Castlerigg. Just before Mass on the
Saturday evening we got word from the people who had gone to climb Scafell and
had still not come down from the
mountain top. Mine was the contact
number, but I didn’t want to scare the others with my concern, so we went
ahead with the Mass in the Community Chapel.
Didn’t the phone go off just before the Consecration.
They had been lost at the top but were now safe.
The phone, which I mostly use for ringing out myself, also rang at the
Gospel with news that my brother-in-law had gone into hospital. Jane
has arranged to buy in food from the supermarket for our evening buffet, or, as
the French say, un self-service. As
with last year I’m wondering why more did not come on this weekend in the
Lakes, but the advantage is that the smaller group builds up a greater sense of
intimacy, almost becoming like a little family for the weekend.
Of course there were 30+ at Malpas last weekend,and in a couple of weeks
there will be 20+ going to Iona as well as a group going to Barcelona, but that
does not fully explain the lack of interest in the Lakes. As
we sit around the old jokes and the old puns come out as well as reminiscences
about other group events that people have shared or heard about.
Conversation easily drifts into discussions on hell, other Churches and
‘outside the Body of Christ there is no salvation’. The
only things that moves us is the bar opening across the hallway.
The spell has not been broken by our change of position, but eventually
people drift away to watch the DVD of ‘Master and Commander’ or to catch
Match of the Day. April 18 Tomorrow
starts the retreat for the Sacred Heart Fathers and Brothers at Malpas.
I’m not sure what I am going to do with the diary.
Will those days be blank or will I write a report on it at the end?
Over the years I have often kept a diary during retreats of my thoughts
and resolutions, but that is not necessarily what you want to share with the
world. These
past 18 days I have mostly enjoyed writing down my thoughts and experiences.
Sometimes the old brain cells are a bit sluggish, and I’ve noticed that
when I am with the group that takes up most of my energy, and I find myself
later struggling to keep up with the entries.
But in general the process has been energising and has heightened
awareness of my connection to the group, and a sense of unity with people who,
for example, will be meeting today in their different areas in Ireland and
Britain. As a body/instinctual
person sometimes I go too easily with the flow of life and don’t reflect
enough on what is happening. It
also makes me feel linked to people who might not have been to events for a
while, but who still feel part of the group and want to know what is going on.
Some people can disappear for a year or more, but feel that they can come
back and get involved, and the group belongs as much to them as anyone else.
That’s how it should be. Others
only go to the main events, or retreats, or pilgrimages.
That’s fine. A few have been receiving the newsletter for ages and have
never been to anything, but they will email occasionally to say that they are
still interested, don’t drop me from the mailing list. Hopefully this diary will help their sense of belonging. Another
phenomenon is that before I started the group, I sent a questionnaire round the
parishes to be answered by people in their 20s. The question that got the highest response was ‘something
must be done for those who don’t like groups’.
We’ve never been able to solve that apparent paradox. A few years ago
we started emailing reflections to people to see if that would help unite people
who related to the group more through their computers.
People were invited to send in their thoughts on the reflection, but that
only made some people feel more guilty because they hadn’t responded. Maybe
this diary will help to bring some people out of the woodwork.
In general I would say that people in the group are quite self-contained
and independent, but they are looking for a sense of community and solidarity
with others from a common background. They
are looking for something that will shake them out of their isolation as
Catholics who care about their faith. Many
come to the group and decide it is not for them. But at least they had a look.
There are others who would love to get involved but who can’t make that
first step. Even if you are quite
extrovert it is not easy going into a group for the first time.
But it’s a bit like going to the baths.
Once you get into the water you soon adjust to the temperature.
Hopefully the diary will help them to take the plunge. One
thing’s for sure. I’m never
going to be able to continue writing so much, nor are people going to be able to
cope with reading it all. Back
to Castlerigg, I’m up long before the wake-up call (of course!), but those
still dreaming are piped out of their slumbers by “I’m loving angels
instead”, followed by “I really love your tiger feet”.
That must be an incentive to people in the bedrooms to tickle the toes of
the heavy shirts who are still a-snoozing. Another
fine breakfast. Jane books the
Centre for another weekend next year in May.
Mass at 10.30. Leaving at
12.00 and dropping Phil off in Warrington to catch the train to Wrexham. April 19 Our
annual retreat does not begin until the evening, so I can do a good day in the
office. I can’t imagine people
will want to read long lists of phone calls, emails etc on office days, but it
might be worthwhile giving the details of today as an example, though it
wouldn’t be a typical day as I’ve been away so much and am off again late
this afternoon till Friday. People
in the groups don’t send much by post, preferring to email or phone, but there
was one interesting envelope from Switzerland with the news that David and
Bettina, who met through the 20s in London, are to be married in May in Newton
Abbot. David was born in Georgia
and lived in Iran. Bettina was born
in Austria and grew up in Switzerland. David
was received into the Church at Easter 2002.
Bettina was at Malpas that Holy Week.
They discovered round about then that they were studying at the same
college, and the rest is chemistry. There
is also a letter from one of our priests in Finland. They want to come to the gathering here in August. On
the ansaphone a few new people from Scotland and the North-West have left their
details. I also have to phone Ruth
in Dublin about the 30s AGM next week, and Caroline has left a message about
Knock in May. Emails include one
from Nick with the North West 20s newsletter which just needs a few additions
re. main events from me. Anna wants
to try more advertising in her area for the group.
Matt haws good ideas for the 30s review meeting in London on Saturday.
There are some apologies from people who can’t make it on Saturday and
other information about upcoming events. There’s
news of Joanne and Steve’s engagement. They
met at Dehon House in 1992, and a Fr David Hanley from the States but originally
from Greenock has seen our web page and wonders if we are related.
We’re not, as far as I know, not at least in recent generations. Often
I write replies to emails by hand and Celia and Clare look after them.
Spending time at the computer takes three times as long and uses up three
times as much energy. This week they are going to have the NW 20s newsletter to
send out as well as the letter to parish priests in the North-West about the
newcomers meetings on 7/8 May. I’ve
double booked myself that weekend. I
was supposed to be in London for the India group re-union. The
Rule of Life of the Sacred Heart Fathers and Brothers (Dehonians) says that we
should do a retreat of at least a few days every year.
You could feel guilty having the luxury of these days of quiet and
prayer. Yet the time can be
challenging (how many in Project 2030 will take the opportunity to do a 4 day
retreat in July 2005?). Usually
there comes a time in the retreat when you have to face yourself and face God.
And that is not always easy. Our
Provincial (the priest who has overall responsibility for our community in
Ireland and Britain), Fr Michael Walshe, welcomes us and tells us that today in
Rome they had the official reading before the Pope of the miracle
that has been accepted for the beatification of our Founder, Fr Leo John
Dehon. Someone was miraculously
cured through his intercession in Brazil in 1954.
He should be beatified in the autumn or the spring.
As soon as we know the date I’ll be inviting people from the group to
come along with on our visit to Rome for the occasion. The
Provincial introduces our speakers who are two Sacred Heart Fathers from our
community in the USA, Fr Byron and Fr Joe who work at our centre a few hundred
miles north of Chicago, St Joseph’s Retreat, 3035 O’Brien Road, Bailey’s
Harbor, Wisconsin 54202 (tel: 414 839 2391).
They have brought with them copies for each of us of a new prayer book
they have produced: ‘This Day of God. Community
Prayers of the Priests of the Sacred Heart.’
The beautifully produced book of 217 pages has prayers of Leo John Dehon,
Prayers of Oblation (Morning Offering) for all the seasons, Devotions and
Services, as well as other prayers in the Dehonian spirit.
Copies can be obtained from The Sacred Heart Monastery, Hales Corners,
Wisconsin, USA. April 20 We
receive an email today from our Fr General telling us that the beatification of
Leo John Dehon was accepted yesterday. The
Provincial asks me to translate the letter during lunch to let people know.
We should have a date in November for the ceremony, to take place in Rome
in March or April 2005. Twenty from
the group went to Rome in September 2003 and people were asking to go again. I had intended to organise Rome for 2005, so we might as well
do it for Dehon’s beatification and be part of something greater.
I imagine there will be a programme organised for younger groups as other
Dehonian communities will be bringing people like they did to Germany last year. The
time-table for the retreat is as follows: 8.15
Breakfast 9.00
Morning Prayer 10.00
Conference 12.00
Eucharist 1.00
Lunch 4.00
Conference 5.30
Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament 6.15
Evening Prayer 6.30
Evening meal 8.00
Optional gathering 9.00 Night Prayer (Compline) These
are some quotations from a talk by Fr Joe on the theme of the Incarnation and
how the Word becoming flesh speaks to us in the light of the insights of Leo
John Dehon. It’s great for us to
get input on our Dehonian spirituality from our own brothers who are steeped in
the life and history of our Founder. (It
would be impossible to try and reproduce the talk, but here are some of the
ideas I jotted down, even if the quotes might not be exact).
-
Jesus
said: “I have come to bring fire on the earth and how I wish it was blazing
already.” -
Leo Dehon
in his last Testament before he died said: “I leave to you a treasure, the
Heart of Jesus.” -
When we
speak of the love of God it is not so much our love for God, but God’s love
for us when he sent his Son into the world (John, Chapter 3). -
Fr Dehon
said that the heart of Jesus is not something to be admired from a distance.
We need to get our hands dirty for others (washing of feet?). -
Woody
Allen said: “The lion and the calf might lie down together (as prophesied by
Isaiah), but the calf will not get much sleep”. -
God’s
Word (in the Incarnation) will bring the world out of violence, injustice and
chaos. -
On
retreat we have the chance to dwell on God’s amazing love and to meet the
Incarnate Word who says that no sparrow shall fall to the ground without God
knowing it. -
Dangerous
our planet might be, yet God still sees that it is good (Genesis 1). -
Francis
bacon reflected ruefully: “It’s s though nature needs to be tortured so that
we can learn it’s secrets. -
Fr Dehon
saw in the poor workers in France, at the end of the 19th century, an
image of God. We are all made in
the image and likeness of God (Dehon set up an association of young workers in
the industrial town of St Quentin, north of Paris, that grew from nothing to
over 300 members. -
Abortion
makes even the richest poor. It is
hard to imagine killing an image of God. There
is no such thing as a lesser divine image. -
As
Dehonians we are called to be “prophets of love and servants of
reconciliation”. -
Good news
that is not good news for everybody is not good news at all. -
Refuse
God’s love and purpose and you destroy God’s creation. -
God is
not willing to stay isolated and beyond our reach. -
God
became human that we might share in his divinity. -
Jesus did
not become human to make the world a nicer place but to destroy death and bring
about a new creation. -
The more
we dwell on what God gives us, the more amazing it appears. -
According
to Leo Dehon, if our nature is made new then we begin loving like Jesus did. -
In a time
of retreat we remember that all is new, all is grace, all will be well.
Jesus enters our sinful world to transform it. April 21 A
talk given by Fr Byron In
the Sacred Heart Fathers’ Rule of Life we are reminded that just as Jesus
tried to maintain union with the Father we too must set aside times of silence
to reach intimacy with God. That’s
what the retreat is for. We
continue the theme of the Incarnation, important in Dehonian spirituality.
When the Word became flesh, God chose intimacy with humanity.
Just as we are made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis), God chose
to be made in the image and likeness of humanity in the incarnation. Jesus chooses to identify with everything human except sin. Byron
spoke about the image of a target. The
bullseye is where we find ourselves alone in our solitude with God.
From there we get our identity and we hear God speak to us intimately.
In the next circle we put our significant other, for a married person
that would be their husband or wife, or it could be our closest friends. In the next circle would be other family and friends.
As the circles grow bigger there is less intimacy and the noise gets
louder as people grab for our attention. The
squeaky hinge always gets the oil. We
use more energy in the outer circles and neglect the inner circles.
We need to do what Jesus did and get away on retreat.
Sometimes Jesus would send his disciples away so he could have time
alone. There
is much emphasis on quality time these days, but we need to spend quantity time
with those who are important to us. With
God we can do the same, slotting quality time of prayer, but not having enough
quantity time with him. We need
also to waste time with God. Let us
look at four characters who wasted time with God – people whom God called by
name not just once but several times. They are: Moses, Samuel, Martha and Paul (whenever we look at
the Scriptures we should read then as if they are about me). In
Exodus 3 Moses is looking after the sheep when the Lord appeared to him in the
burning bush. “Moses, Moses,”
God said, “do not come any closer. Take
off your sandals for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”
For the Jews all ground is holy. The
disputes today in Israel are all about land, so maybe God is asking Moses to
take off his shoes to slow him down and make him more vulnerable.
God wants to become vulnerable with us and he wants us to risk being
wounded as we move closer to him. Samuel’s
mother, Hannah, prayed for a son (1 Samuel).
When she got one she left him in the Temple to be raised by the priest,
Eli. He had great proximity to God.
At night Samuel heard his name called three times.
Eventually Eli realised it was God who was calling and told Samuel to
reply: “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.”
Intimacy with God means listening. Often
in the bible there are phrases like “Hear, O Israel”. Martha
is a patroness of our community as an example of a doer.
Jesus goes to the house of Martha and Mary for a time of rest and
intimacy (Luke 10: 38-42). Mary sat at Jesus’ feet listening to what he said, but
Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.
“Martha, Martha,” said Jesus, “you worry and fret about so many
things, but only one thing is necessary.”
Jesus is calling her to a deeper relationship with himself.
Maybe Martha never slowed down much in her work, but she did everything
in response to Jesus’ love. Paul/Saul
was an over-achiever as a Jew in the area of the law. In the end he realised that the Law could not accomplish
anything, only his relationship with Jesus could. He changed when he heard his name being called by Jesus on
the road to Damascus: “Saul,
Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Often
on retreat Byron will challenge people by telling them not to pray.
Rather, let us allow the Holy Spirit to pray within us.
If we listen we can hear God praying a simple prayer within us.
He is repeating our name like a mantra.
If we get lost in a crowd, the first time someone shouts our name gives
us focus. The second time we hear
our name gives us direction In
our retreat let us take off our shoes like Moses, and listen to what God is
saying/praying to us. As Catholics
sometimes we pray too much. The
contemplative is called just to listen. Take
a walk with the four characters: Moses, Samuel, Martha and Paul.
Let them talk to us about proximity, intimacy and listening to God.. April 22 Another
talk from the retreat. We began
with the prayer of St Richard of Chichester, then a reading from our
Constitutions (Rule of Life) no 13. “With
all our fellow Christians we are brought to tread in the footsteps of Christ,
and so attain to holiness.” In
1986 Byron was asked to look after a parish in the inner-city of Detroit.
It’s not just known as the auto capital of America but also the crime
capital. The area was run down and
dominated by drugs. It was a black
parish, small but lively. The people still had hope and wanted to make a difference in
their city. After 3 years Byron was
asked to move elsewhere. He and the
people knew it was going to be his last Christmas, so the people wanted to make
it special. While they were happily
decorating the church, he heard there had been a murder.
After spending quite a time with the family he got back to the presbytery
only to have someone else come to the door to say that his son had also been
murdered in a random killing. He felt angry and frustrated. How can you celebrate in the midst of two murders? Later he had to take communion to Ruthy who was housebound. She was concerned for him. “How are you?” He asked her how she kept her faith in the midst of so much insanity. She answered in a strong afro-american accent: “I don’t knows. All I do knows is that God emmanue |