HUGH’S    DIARY

April 1 - Friday

EASTER QUIZ FROM MALPAS

At Malpas there is a tradition now of doing a quiz on the evening of Good Friday as no-one is going to the pub.  Gavin prepared this year's.

First of all there was a picture round with pictures of Paul Young, Gail Porter, Wayne Rooney, J-Lo, David Dickenson, Geri Halliwell, Sienna Miller, Michael Howard, David Jason and Kiera Knightley.  At least one table got each answer right except for Sienna Miller.  For the overall quiz two tables tied on 24 out of 30.  Answers next week.

1. Whose tomb did the Roman soldiers use to bury Jesus in the passion story?
2. Which actor's movie career has involved playing Richard the Lionheart, King Arthur and Alan Quatermain?
3. Which band's chart topping singles include Discoteque, The Fly, and Sometimes you can't make it on your own?
4. Who is the manager of Liverpool Football Club?
5. Which American war hero was nicknamed Blood and Guts?
6. Which city would you be in if you visited the Nassau Coliseum?
7. What is the name of the current Home Secretary?
8. Million Dollar Babies was the second best director Oscar for which screen legend?
9. Whose self titled album includes the tracks Processed Beats and Club Foot?
10. How many days did Jesus stay in the desert?
11. In which year in the 1960s did The Profumo Affair, The Great Train Robbery and the Assassination of JFK all take place?
12. What is the name of the latest actor to play Doctor Who?
13. In which sport would you see the Tigers play the Bulldogs at the Jungle?
14. How many grandchildren does the Queen have?
15. Which duo invite you each week to a Saturday Night Takeaway?
16. What is the capital of Ottowa?
17. Who has had hits as part of The Yardbirds, Cream, and Derek and the Dominoes?
18. Name the comedian who starred in and co-wrote the sitcom called The Office.
19. What does a somnambulist do?
20. On which day did God create the Sun, the Moon and the stars?

April 2 - Saturday

THE MENTAL CAPACITY BILL

Someone sent me a copy of details of this Bill which is going through Westminster, and asked me to pass it on.

PARLIAMENT: EASTER 2005 - THE MENTAL CAPACITY BILL

A Final Push to keep this important Bill on course and stop Euthanasia.

During the week of April 4th, when the House of Commons resumes after the Easter recess, the Mental Capacity Bill will return for its final stages.  Although significant improvements have been made, Archbishop Peter Smith, along with the Anglican Bishop of Winchester and the All-Party pro-life parliamentarians in the Commons and Lords, still believe that the Bill is defective.  The Government's failure to close a loophole that will allow suicidally motivated Advance Directives will open the way for euthanasia.

Professor John Finnis, Professor of law at Oxford University, says: The Government has "carelessly introduced a new culture of prescribing death by the artifice of arranged and managed omissions, or at least considerably reinforcing that new culture.  The Government answers....about blatantly suicidal Advance Directives, were utterly without merit or credibility."

How you must help:

Please use this last opportunity to write to your MP at the House of Commons, London, SW1A 0AA urging them to take immediate action.  Or telephone him or her at the House of Commons: 020 7219 3000.

This vote is about Life and Death.

April 3 - Sunday

MOURNING THE DEATH OF JOHN PAUL II

This is an email that has gone out to all of the groups today to commemorate the life and death of Pope John Paul II and to suggest that we try, as far as possible, to unite ourselves in times of prayer for him and for the Church over the coming weeks every evening at 8.30 pm.

We will all have been touched, I am sure, by the news of the death of our Pope, John Paul II.

Last Monday I included a tribute to him from The Times of London in the diary.  This week I have been gripped very much by the news of his impending death and it could be that this man who was so vigorous in promoting the Good News of Jesus Christ might have made his greatest witness to God by the way in which he died and, just as Jesus rose from the dead, we pray that new life will come in to the Church now because of the great example of Karol Wojtyla.

I remember exactly where I was when I heard that this cardinal from Poland had been elected Pope.  It changed the outlook of the Church at a stroke.  When I studied in Rome from 1980 - 1982 I saw and heard him many times and was able to bring visitors from Britain to his audiences in St Peter's Square.  I knew where to wait at the end of the audience so that people would have a chance to shake his hand.  One of the ladies from St John Ogilvie's, Irvine, said "Now I can die happy".  When he was shot on 13 May 1981 it was not such a great shock.  The Poles at the college had been telling us to expect something like this.

When I was the provincial of the Sacred Heart Fathers I was introduced to him twice.  On the first occasion, when he heard I was from the British-Irish Province, he said, "Ah, English", and I replied, "No, Scottish".  I like to tell people we only exchanged two words but he got me wrong and I said 'no' to him.  This must be his technique because I heard a priest yesterday say that when he was introduced to the Pope as coming from Manchester he said, "Ah, United", and the priest said, "No, City".

Each of us will have been touched in our own way by the life and death of the Pope.  It was very helpful for me this morning to follow the Requiem Mass from Westminster Cathedral on BBC1 and to feel united with other people.  I am suggesting that as a group over the few weeks until the new Pope is elected that we try and spend some time of silence and prayer each evening at 8.30 pm, united in the thought that others in the group will also be praying for the repose of the soul of the Pope and for his successor.  This is also a good time for us to reflect what it means to be a Catholic and to belong to a worldwide Church which uniquely claims to be the one universal community descended from St Peter, the head of the apostles.  Hopefully in the middle of the evening you will be sufficiently rested after your day's work and it is not too late to open our hearts to the presence of God in our lives in this way.  If it works for you then maybe you can let us know in such a way that it will be helpful to others who are trying to keep this time of solidarity and prayer.

As for the beatification of Leo John Dehon on 24 April (there are almost 30 of us going out to Rome) this was the worst case scenario.  I am not sure what will happen.  I will let people know when it is clear, but we might even find ourselves in Rome for the election of the Pope or his Installation, or the beatification might even be one of the first public services of the new man.

Let us continue our prayers for John Paul and for his successor and continue to reflect what it means to be a Catholic and belong to the People of God.

April 4 - Monday

USING THE PSALMS

At retreats we often use the Jewish Psalms for our prayers.  Sometimes we have a period of silence where people can read out the line that has said most to them as a kind of meditation.  It always works, and to hear what is important to individuals can be moving.  Here is a prayer closely based on Psalm 139 which also inspired a famous poem by Francis Thompson called 'The Hound of Heaven'.

A PRAYER (AFTER PSALM 139)

Father, God of love,

You know all about me.

You know my most secret thoughts,

You know when I am sitting and when I am standing.

Nothing I do is hidden from you.

Even before I start to speak you know what I am going to say.

You are behind me and before me protecting me with your hand.

This knowledge is way beyond me, a height my mind cannot reach.

Where could I go to escape you?

Where would I ever be away from you?

If I climb to the heavens you are there.

If I go into the depths of the grave, yes you are there.

If I flew away to where the sunrise starts, or away across the sea, still you are there,

guiding me and supporting me with your loving hand.

If I said to the darkness: "Hide me and change the light into night",

The darkness is not dark to you, it is as clear as day.

Yes it was you who created me.  You formed me in my mother's womb.

I thank you for the wonder of myself.

I thank you for the wonder and mystery of all your creation.

Father, you know me totally,

even from the secret of my mother's womb.

You knew all my days and actions before any of them came into being.

Loving Father,

Search me and know me.

Know all the thoughts of my heart.

Protect me from walking in sinful ways

and guide me into life everlasting.

Amen. 

April 5 - Tuesday

HOW WRONG WAS THE POPE? 

For my monthly discussion on the BBC Radio Five message board I tackled some of the criticism that has come to Pope John Paul II because of his stance on certain moral issues.  Here is the first part of the discussion.  I can only give what I have written because of the BBC rules, but I have tried to give a flavour of other peoples reactions. I generally only replied if people were critical of what I said.  Other people wrote supporting my stance. 

How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 6th post - 5 Apr 2005 16:35
People wonder why such a great man as John Paul II could be so wrong about certain moral issues. Or maybe he was right? Who can make a good argument for abortion? Divorce just causes more misery. Sex outside of marriage leads to more unhappiness for hetero- and homosexuals alike. And the Pope's stand against condoms as a solution to the transmission of HIV/Aids has done more to help people to accept abstention and fidelity as the best solutions and thus save more lives. John Paul is a great prophet for our times. [reply]    [Complain about this post]

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 12th post - 5 Apr 2005 17:37
You asked me to explain why 'Sex outside of marriage leads to more unhappiness for hetero- and homosexuals alike.' The very fact that you are asking me to explain it maybe means that you can sense how I might be right. The other guy who replied to this bit thinks I might just be referring to Catholics, but even if people do not have a moral code like Catholics they are not going to feel satisfied with sex outside of a committed and faithful relationship that is open to the possibility of having children, because that is just they way we are made. It's the birds and the bees all over again. True sex is brilliant. Anything less than this is a downer. [reply]    [Complain about this post]
 

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 7th post - 5 Apr 2005 16:54
Who is looking for a Pope that is more in touch? My brother was in St Peter's this morning to see the Pope and he phoned mainly to say that the queue was mostly young people. As for there only being 26 recruits to the priesthood in Ireland last year, maybe that says more about Ireland and its slide into secularism. The numbers of candidates for the priesthood have doubled in the time of John Paul as Pope and there are now more people studying for the priesthood throughout the world than at any time in history. [reply]    [Complain about this post]

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 8th post - 5 Apr 2005 17:01
You say that the Pope did not manage the paedophile crisis very well. He had very little to do with it. Popes have less influence than you imagine on how individual Bishops and countries manage their own affairs.  As for Cardinal Law getting a plum job in the Vatican, have you asked Cardinal Law? If you want a job at the Vatican I'll put in a word for you, but there are no plum jobs. [reply]    [Complain about this post]

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 9th post - 5 Apr 2005 17:08
You want me to explain how your great sex outside of your marriage has led to unhappiness. Have you asked your wife, or how about getting in touch with some of those other women and see how they feel. If you can't see how abstention has helped stop the spread of aids worldwide, particularly in countries like Uganda, then just think how the opposite of abstention has added to its spread. [reply]    [Complain about this post]

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 11th post - 5 Apr 2005 17:25
You say that 'condoms are better than abstention because you still get to have sex.' But condoms are only 98 percent effective at the best of times. Even Durex advises against having sex if there is a chance of passing on the likes of HIV/Aids. Some people have accused the Pope of murder because he would not condone the use of condoms. I don't agree but I'm wondering if it is not manslaughter to encourage people to use condoms when they know there is a high risk of passing on HIV/Aids. [reply]    [Complain about this post]

April 6 - Wednesday

MORE FROM THE RADIO FIVE MESSAGEBOARD

Here are more extracts from the web discussion I started defending the Pope.  Over a 24 hour period it was by far the most popular debate on the Radio 5 messageboard.  There were about 100 other discussions with an average of 10 contributions each, with topics ranging from who will be the next Pope to the election and the royal wedding. 

We had almost 50 postings. You might still be able to see the whole discussion on  http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?find=%3C1112727588-10922.31%40forum2.mh.bbc.co.uk%3E#mid   I'll be starting another debate like this next month.  If you want to know when a discussion is starting so that you can follow it or contribute to it, send an email message to hugh@project2030.fsnet.co.uk and we'll give you warning.  Or why not start you own topic?

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 17th post - 5 Apr 2005 19:28
You say that we should 'do what we can to make sex as easy to do as possible.' But that's the problem our society is facing. We have tried to make it as easy as possible and it has caused all kinds of social, inter-personal and individual problems. People might 'feel unhappy about missing' sex, but it seems to me that they end up more unhappy when they get it in situations which are not stable and committed and prepared to look after any resulting child.

When you talk about abstaining as long as you can and giving in, I think part of you wants to agree with me. I don't think the Pope would have so actively condemned the use of condoms if people had not been saying to him all the time that he should give them his blessing. The same applies to homosexual sex. Homosexuals were continually pushing the Pope for acceptance of anal sex. The Pope did not come out often and condemn heterosexuals who were living together before marriage, because no one has been campaigning to say it is a good thing and get the Church's acceptance. I can't remember the Pope ever saying anything about telling lies. Most people do tell lies at some time, but society does not then try to say that there is nothing wrong with telling lies. The problem in sexual matters is that in Western culture people want to say:' Well, everybody is doing it, so it must be alright then.'

It's not the Pope who has left people vulnerable to disease. They are doing it to themselves by going against nature which has designed us for fidelity to one partner. By being one of the few voices saying that you don't need to indulge in easy sex he has given a support to people who know in their heart of hearts that sex is really only worthwhile in a loving committed relationship.

As for an accident with condoms just being an accident and therefore not manslaughter where HIV/Aids is a possibility, tell that to the man who runs the bungee jump, or his insurer [reply]    [Complain about this post]

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 10th post - 5 Apr 2005 17:20
In trying to defend abortion you give the most extreme case - 'a 14 year old is raped by a sexually repressed pervert, are you telling me she should be forced to have and look after that child?' It's hard to answer, but abortion is not necessarily the best solution. Certainly not for the child anyway. Admittedly it would be hard for her to have to look after that child, but how is she going to feel after an abortion? Over the centuries many women have had children after rape. The chances are if you go back far enough one of our ancestors went through that. I they had had abortions we would not be here. Again, not an easy question to answer, but just to say that abortion is the answer in difficult circumstances is not the solution [reply]    [Complain about this post]

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 16th post - 5 Apr 2005 18:46
You say that what really sickens you is the idea that priests who are celibate and have had no experience of having a child should try to dictate the outcome of a pregnancy brought about by the terrible crime of rape.

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 18th post - 5 Apr 2005 19:37
How do I know that I was planned and desired? My mother told me, and in such a way, with reference to times and dates, that I have not the slightest doubt. [reply]    [Complain about this post]

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 15th post - 5 Apr 2005 18:28
Thank you for sparing us the tirade. I know the feeling. I am not saying that the 14 year old necessarily has to care for that child. Adoption is always a possibility, though it is best that a child is brought up by its own parent(s) where possible. That is one reason why I think that society will eventually turn against births by sperm or egg donation, just as it now insists that any child born like that has the rights to know who is its biological parents.

The 14 year old mother might easily 'hate and despise and goes onto resent ignore that child who grows up unloved, uncherished and disenfranchised' as you say, but she might not, especially if there was a climate in our society which was more supportive of children no matter how they came about. It's not the child' s fault.  If that was me in the womb I think I would want to take the chance.

You seem to be saying that you would not abort if the foetus was older than 16 weeks, because then it would not be viable outside the womb. That's more generous than a lot of people who support abortion. But what is your definition of viability. A born child is not viable for years if no one looks after it, while a child in the womb is more viable if it is left to mature there as nature intended. If wombs were transparent how many people would have abortions? [reply]    [Complain about this post]
 

re: How wrong is the Pope Hugh 2030 - 19th post - 5 Apr 2005 19:59
I'm sorry to hear that you think that the Church has had more of a negative impact on people's lives. I'm not saying that there have not been mistakes and that people have not suffered. Jesus himself predicted this. But on balance the Church has contribute to the greater good of humanity as it continues on earth the mission of Christ. You should have a closer look at it sometime. And Doctor Skum, do yourself a favour and change your name. You're much better than that, and you know it.

April 7 - Thursday

THOUGHTS ON THE HOLOCAUST

These thoughts of Duncan on the Holocaust were supposed to go on the Web on Sunday but got pulled because of the Pope's death.  It was significant that the Pope's will, which was published today, only mentioned two people by name, the Archbishop who was his secretary and the Chief Rabbi of Rome.

I'm not sure I could visit Auschwitz. I think it would be too much. I can read about the Holocaust but find it hard to watch the footage or films. It does seem strange coach loads of people turning up with their cameras. I hope they all realise it's a memorial, not a tourist attraction.

Even now when many of the perpetrators have had to answer before the ultimate one, there's still an insatiable demand for new documentaries. I know it's so important we never forget, but we don't seem to always learn either. How many are quite happy to see the Kurds massacred if it keeps the terrorists from our shores?

The Nazi's were beyond contempt. I suppose their atrocities in many ways were the first to be recorded by the technology that developed in the 20th century. I'm sure Britain had its discreditable moments as it built its empire. I think the often indiscriminate bombing of cities like Dresden was probably wrong & unnecessary.

When you see children torn from their parents, and parents often murdered themselves living with the guilt of having abandoning their children, only those of the strongest possible faith mustn't have wondered where He was. Even those who survived, often talk of their guilt that maybe they should have done something to save fellow family members who perished.

I know it will all become clear one day! How you forgive some of the perpetrators, I know not (and I know forgiveness is something we all need.)

It seemed like Britain was on her own back in 1940-41 trying to save civilisation & decency. I can't imagine how frightening those times must have felt. I saw a plaque on an RAF memorial on the Hoe in Plymouth last week, acknowledging how God too loved the enemy which they hated, and asking for God to teach them how to die, if it came to it. Very humbling. When I see how lucky I am, I feel sad I sometimes fail to do the simple things God asks of me.

Onwards & upwards, enjoying the diary, Dunc.

April 8 - Friday

THE FUNERAL OF POPE JOHN PAUL II 

In recent months I've been using my mobile phone more.  I can see how people can get hooked on them.  I get up at 7.00 am and switch it on.  There's a message from my brother who is in Rome with his wife on a pre-arranged holiday.  They went down towards St Peter's Square at 6.00 am but could not get anywhere near it, so went back to their hotel to watch the funeral on TV.  Lucia, Anne-Marie and Louise from the London 30s have gone to Rome for the funeral, but I have not been able to contact them.

There's a particularly vicious article and cartoon about the Pope in the Guardian, so after breakfast I send an email to the letters page:

To the Editor of the Guardian.

How could such a great man as the Pope be so wrong about condoms, unless of course he is right.  By holding out against immense pressure from those who think that Sex must be obeyed at all times, he has led Aids sufferers towards faithfulness and abstention and thus saved more lives.  Condoms are only 98 per cent effective at the best of times.  If Polly Toynbee and others think that John Paul has been guilty of murder, then those who encourage people with HIV/Aids to have sex with condoms are at least guilty of manslaughter.  The condom manufacturers have long since advised against using their products in dangerous circumstances.  They don't want to be sued. 

The response to the Pope's death has been almost unbelievable, but certain commentators feel they have to attack with all guns blazing.  They cannot take the chance that the Church's moral teaching take root in our society.  That would put the high priests of secularism out of a job.

The funeral is live on BBC 1 and ITV 1 from 9.00 am till 12.00.  I imagine most of the group will have missed it due to work.  It was very solemn, yet simple and moving.  The service followed the same pattern that would be used for any Catholic's funeral.  Cardinal Ratzinger spoke about John Paul's life and beliefs.  He said that there were three quotations from the Gospel that motivated him above all:

1. When Jesus says to the apostles at the Last Supper "you did not choose me, I chose you".  This can apply to us all.
2. "The Good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."
3. "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you."

It was amazing to see so many world leaders at the Vatican, yet somehow they did not seem as important as they usually do.  Here we were dealing with different realities.

Shortly after the service I try to phone Lucia again and get through, but her battery is running flat and she is scared to speak too much.  I don't know if they got into the Square, but she sounds excited, says that they'll write a report and she's also done a video diary.  If we weren't going to Rome in a few week's time I might have gone out with them.  The beatification of Leo Dehon has been postponed, but we could be there for the election of the new Pope.

I was going to remind you about continuing to keep united in prayer every evening for John Paul at 8.30.  But the banners in the Piazza today were demanding that he be declared a saint immediately, and the sermon pictured him looking down from God's window in heaven.  I am sure the Pope would want us to keep praying for him, but perhaps more so for his successor.  The three BBC guest commentators were asked at the end about the next Pope.  There are a very large pair of shoes to be filled, said one.  We need above all a holy man, and thirdly we require a Pope not just for the Church but for the world.

There was a good response to the idea of being united in prayer and reflection every evening at 8.30 pm.

April 9 - Saturday

LONDON 30S RETREAT AT TURVEY ABBEY

This is Clare's report on the London 30s retreat Turvey Abbey.

Turvey was not a place I had heard of until I saw the advert in one of the Project 2030 e-mails, but I liked the rustic sound of it even before I got on the train out of St Pancras.  Due to frenetic activity of one kind or another and a dose of cynicism after unhealthy over-exposure to various Catholic movements last year, I had felt I needed a spiritual top-up and not necessarily one I’d find in the Mind, Body and Spirit pages of a glossy supplement of a Saturday national newspaper. Turvey is one of those little gems that is very seldom mentioned in the drawing rooms of the intelligentsia but is, at the same time, an open secret.

For all this, the village is accessible.  Three of the group (of twelve) met on the X2 bus which links Turvey with Bedford station.  Door to door by bus and train, the journey takes about one hour forty minutes from London St Pancras – just about commutable distance if you have a penchant for country living.  Our fellow retreatants who came by car fared less well and got stuck in the customary traffic jams etc.   But if you are delayed, Turvey is worth the wait.  The scenery there is quite beautiful: on a par with anything I have seen in northern Italy, with rolling hills and valleys awakening in morning mist and bathed in golden sunlight by the afternoon and the village itself is picture-postcard pretty.

The abbey - just set off the main road - is inhabited by the Olivetan Benedictines, an offshoot of the teaching order who still reside in Cockfosters.  They have been there for fifteen or sixteen years but bought the site (including the 18^th Century country house which the nuns inhabit) from a local family who, religiously speaking, ‘definitely had a foot in both camps’ during the Reformation.  Historical suckers for intrigue will be delighted to hear the rumour of a tunnel linking Turvey to a place of safety for fugitive priests and disappointed that the nuns (spoilsports) have filled in most of it with concrete.  For the record, we saw no suspicious activity anywhere at all in Turvey over the weekend.  Incidentally, Br Tom, one of the brothers in the monastic part of the site, was quite disappointed that he never got the chance to have a look at any old vestments that may be hanging in the tunnel.  But with Eurostar arriving at St Pancras, maybe it’s just as well the Turvey extension got blocked. 

Heavy-duty spiritual overhaul is not something on the menu at Turvey.  Rather it’s a place of respite from the world with a genuine Christian ethos that extends to the poor and needy as well as overwrought city folk on an alternative bender of a weekend.  But talking of menus, the food quality at Turvey is just superb.  Benedictines are, apparently, noted for their culinary skill and hospitality (I hear Solemnes in France is also very, very good in this regard).  On the Friday, we had a choice of stew or a vegetarian option, plus desert.  But with a full stomach and after a long commute and a short night prayers+ I was quite beached by nine and chose to hit the sack for the rest of the night, although some of the others went to the pub in the village. 

Breakfast was sociable (and I’m not a morning person) and we had a tour of the grounds (including pottery and the promise of a glimpse of the sisters’ tapestries later on for those interested). After this, Fr Hugh gave a talk during which time we had to look deep within at some of our issues and either get into contemplative mood in the abbey complex or on a local walk.  I chose the second option but have to confess that none of my issues really came up as I was more worried about trespassing on someone’s piece of land or meeting a vicious dog than mulling over or processing my deepest concerns.  My silence came to an end, anyway, when I bumped into another retreatant in the Anglican churchyard and gave him a Werthers Original.  But I tried.  The nun’s life is not for me.  We had mass at midday – a very intimate mass in which the bread was broken over a round table around which we sat and over which we later offered each other the sign of peace.  I couldn’t help wishing that mass could be like this all the time:  simple and meaningful instead of removed and artificially pious. 

We had some free time after lunch, with the option of visiting the neighbouring market town of Olney or walking three miles to a country park with lake.  I chose Olney and hitched a ride with Michael who was taking Fr Hugh back to Milton Keynes and then wandered around with Sophie (from Central London), finding the river bank and walking towards and then away from the sun.  We headed back to Turvey at fiveish.  Br John was giving a talk.  I would have been put-off by the title (‘Suffering’) but a lot of what he said made sense and there was none of the hard stuff about being miserable and carrying your cross (which doesn’t make it any lighter anyway).  It was rather about keeping a sense of peace and growing in real serenity through sensitive prayer and charity.  He also told us a few anecdotes about canon law which were both illuminating and reassuring.   Behind the machinery of Vatican governance Jesus’s message of love is still accessible to all.   The evening closed with prayer in the main chapel (consisting of psalms set to unaccompanied music) and the mandatory trip to the pub.  But there must have been something in the country air, as most of the group were tucked up in bed by ten. 

Palm Sunday in Turvey is unusual.  Although the abbey is not a parish, people come from miles around to celebrate mass there and there is some authenticity as the palms are real branches taken from the monastery bushes, as opposed to imported leaves.  The service itself was conducted in the chapel and was dignified and solemn although the chapel, with its glass roof lent the proceedings a light and a hope of the new life to come at Easter. 

Mass was followed by a talk by Br Tom, probably the youngest member of the community.  He gave us a potted history of his pre-Turvey days before leading us onto consideration of the meaning of the crucifixion and some discussion. 

Back to the pub for a traditional Sunday lunch (back to the gym on Monday, I guess) and then the X2 and train home.  We didn’t see much of Bedford, which has a lot of history, and the bus station is not a place in which to loiter (there’s a ‘recycling’ bin for knives and various outside the police station opposite) but everything went well and we made good connections again.  As for Turvey, I thought it was a little piece of heaven on earth.  The simplicity of the lives of the monks and sisters gives the place a timelessness and there are times when you need the minute and second hands to slow.  Now that I’m back in Croydon, the whole episode seems surreal; such is the dreamlike quality of that part of Bedfordshire. I just wonder whether I didn’t dream the whole thing and whether it will still be there, unchanged, in years to come.   I hope so.  

April 10 - Sunday

LONDON ALPHA COURSE - THE HOLY SPIRIT - THE FUNERAL  

About 20 from the London groups are halfway through the Alpha course.  This programme was designed  by an Anglican priest as an easy introduction to Christianity.  It has since been accepted by the Catholic Church.  Millions of people have now done Alpha throughout the world.  It can also be used as a way of renewing your faith.  Patricia talks about the benefits of Alpha for her on the back page of the latest magazine.  The group is meeting for 10 weeks from 2.00 - 5.00 on the theme of the Holy Spirit.

The first two talks were given by Julia who works in the Alpha headquarters at The Holy Trinity, Brompton.  A boyfriend had introduced her to it at University.  She didn't get the guy, but she got God and went back to being a practicing Anglican.  She guided us through various references to the Spirit in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.  Right from the beginning the Spirit (Ruah) was hovering over the water.  We see the effect of the Spirit, for example, on Gideon who was chosen to be a leader even though he was the least likely candidate (reminds me of some Popes), and then there was Samson who was given the power to break free from his chains.  In Jeremiah God says that he will put his spirit within us and remove from us our heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh instead.

The Jews expected the Spirit to flow from the side of the Temple. Ezekiel predicts a great flood in the future.  But it doesn't happen for a long time.  John the Baptist tells us that Jesus will baptise with the Holy Spirit and fire.  On the day of the festival when the High priests went down to take water from the stream at the side of the temple and bring it back in procession, Jesus stood there and cried out: "If anyone is thirsty let them come to me and drink.  From their heart shall flow out streams of living water".  He was speaking of the Spirit which had not been given yet.  I thought how for Leo Dehon the blood and water from the side of Jesus, dead on the cross, was the symbol of this flood which has now spread throughout the world.  We are not always aware of this torrent of love and grace even though we are part of it.  Last week at the Pope's funeral it was more evident.  As someone said during one of the breaks today, it was quite a week to live through.

One of the characteristics of Alpha is to eat together beforehand.  Today we ate in the middle.  Michael had prepared a buffet.  I always enjoy "picnics" with their spontaneity, informality and variety.  Michael also gave the third talk.  He concentrated more on the gifts of the Holy Spirit as described in 1 Corinthians.  St Paul tells us that within the Christian community there are a variety of gifts, but it is always the same spirit.  Some are called to be Apostles, other prophets or teachers.  There are many different gifts like hospitality or administration.  This is something I have always stressed within the group, that we are all contributing something, even if we think we are not.  If you stay away from the group or from the Church because you feel you have nothing to contribute, then you are depriving not only us but yourself as well.  Michael had most of his talk written down, so I'm going to ask him if we can include it in the diary.  He also invited one of the group to describe how they had experienced the gift of tongues.

I'm writing this on the train back to Stockport.  About half an hour ago the light of the setting sun came streaming in.  I went to the door to watch the sunset.  While I was reflecting on what a day, what a week, Lucia rang to say how they had got on in Rome at the Pope's funeral (the emotion of last week came back just listening to her).  Louise and Anne-Marie are going to write up a full report.  I'm not going to spoil their amazing experience.  Imagine the best case scenario.  It was better than that.

April 11 - Monday

“Easter at Malpas 2005” Report by Katie Howley (Glasgow group)

For me, the Easter gathering at Malpas was everything I hoped it would be.  There was time for prayer, meditation, reflection, relaxation and friendship.  It all began (for those of us from further a field) around tea time on Holy Thursday with just enough warm, hazy, sunlight remaining for us to absorb the breathtaking scenery surrounding St Josephs.  As more and more of the group arrived sporadically throughout the evening, we prepared to celebrate Mass in our own private chapel, after which, we processed across the courtyard for prayers before the Blessed Sacrament.  The first evening ended for some of us with a brief trip to the pub followed by night prayers then an early night to recharge our batteries.

By late morning on Good Friday, most of the group were present and it was time to be allocated our roles for the service.  Before the serious rehearsing got underway, there was time for a walk around the pretty little village of Malpas and its surrounding areas.

The Good Friday service was very touching in a sense that it physically and emotionally led us through the pain and suffering endured by Christ in his final hours on earth, thanks to all the hard work and top-class performances from everyone.  We all then had the opportunity to venerate the cross followed by some time for personal reflection at the end of the service.

It was now time for the boys to let off some steam and display their highly polished soccer skills.  We were treated to the Lights v Darks resulting in the Light triumphing over the Dark.  It was a very entertaining game indeed with some seriously questionable tackles but thankfully no major injuries! 

The quiz in the evening gave each of us an opportunity to display our (lack of?) general knowledge.  My team was fortunate enough to have Hugh there to answer all of the historical questions for us – sorry Hugh!....

By Holy Saturday we were all feeling relaxed in each others company and enjoying spending time with each other.  After morning prayers there were opportunities for visits to Chester or to go on various walks etc.  Everyone seemed to have a nice afternoon whatever they chose to do.  It was soon time for the Easter Vigil which included a torchlight procession from the darkness of the garden into the light of the Chapel.  Again this proved to be very moving and realistic experience thanks to all the hard work put in by everyone involved.  We also had a beautiful Easter garden as a visual stimulus to help set the scene.

It was now time to get down to some serious partying. With the wine and fine ale’s flowing, we started off with “Dom & Duncan’s Saturday night take away” which then mutated beyond belief to something involving Gerry playing Snow White!  For some of us, a brilliant evening wound up with a ceilidh, limbo dancing, musical chairs and passing the fruit, all to the dulcet tones of Boney M – There’s a first time for everything……!

Easter Sunday was a day of rejoicing and of sadness as we all had to say our goodbyes to old friends and new.  The following replayed in my mind “from age to age you gather a people to your self, so that from east to west a perfect offering may be made to the glory of your name”

We were 35 people united in faith now going back to various corners of Britain to spread the Easter message through our daily lives.  Hopefully it won’t be long before it is time for us to unite again.

I’d like to thank my fellow music group members for working so hard with me and learning lots of music in such a short space of time! I’d also like to say a big thank you to everyone for making the event so enjoyable and especially to Hugh, for without him, none of it would have happened. 

April 12 - Tuesday

THE TIMES ON THE POPE'S LEGACY

Here is another editorial from The Times of London.  It is encouraging to see how the secular press viewed him.  What is particularly interesting about this article is how it hints that maybe John Paul's greatest achievements are still to come.  There was a very good response to the idea of spending some time united in prayer and reflection every evening at 8.30 pm.  The problem I have is remembering to do it (even on Sunday night in the train when my thoughts were very much in Rome).  So last night I set my mobile to go off at 20.29.  Just as well, for my reaction was still: "What on earth is that?" 

A Pope like no other in recent times received a papal funeral of a sort without precedent as well.  The extraordinary crowds in Rome were supplemented by many hundreds of millions around the world for whom the ceremony - although 150 minutes long - passed at speed and with dignity.  The simplicity of the coffin of John Paul II was augmented by a service that was rich, profound and summoned up the traditions of many centuries.  Despite the huge logistical challenges, not least concerning the security of dignitaries,  the Vatican can be satisfied at how events passed.

This outpouring less of grief than a form of pride again illustrated the power of faith in an era when it is fashionable to deride spirituality.  When the Pope died on Saturday, Italian officials estimated that about one million people might travel to Rome in the days before the funeral.  By the standards of any previous papal death this seemed wildly optimistic.  As matters evolved, it was a substantial underestimate.  Yet the Italian authorities and the people of Rome have coped despite the astonishing human inflow.  Nor will the queues disappear.  Many who missed the opportunity this week will want to see John Paul II in his resting place.

These remarkable statistics pay tribute to his legacy.  There is a broader sense, though, in which this Pope left not only his own faith but faith itself stronger.  For all their difficulties in the past decade, religions across the spectrum have become, despite inevitable internal disputes, more comfortable with each other.  There is an emerging understanding that whatever the finer disagreements of theological detail, the common rivals of mainstream religion are, on one side, radical fundamentalism (of various brands) and, on the other, an unthinking materialism that mistakes content for contentment and possessions for achievement.

The next Pope thus has grounds for cautious optimism.  He will encounter a Church which, in contrast to the dark days of the 1970s before John Paul II emerged, is entitled to be more concerned about the dwindling number of new priests than diminishing congregations.  Yet the combination of the example of the departed Pope and the yearning for a life that involved more than an accumulation of interesting gadgets might yet stimulate an increase in the numbers of young men putting themselves forward for the priesthood.  If so, one of John Paul II's most potent achievements is to come.

This has been an amazing fortnight.  It began with the Pope's pained personal appearance on Easter Day during Mass when he clearly sought, but could not bring forth, words for those gathered below him.  It has ended with his farewell.  The spiritual message that he articulated through his long tenure will surely outlive him. 

April 13 - Wednesday

THE HOMILY AT THE POPE'S FUNERAL

This is the text of the homily given by Cardinal Ratzinger at the Pope's funeral.  I spoke to my brother today who is just back from Rome.  He was struck by the fact that the crowds at St Peter's were 80% younger people.  Seeing this he told me how he became more convinced of the importance of Project 2030.

Funeral Service of Our Beloved Holy Father, Pope John Paul II

Friday 8^th April 2005

St Peter’s Square, Rome

Homily of Cardinal Ratzinger 

“Follow me" The risen Lord says these words to Peter. They are his last words to this disciple, chosen to shepherd his flock.  "Follow me" - this lapidary saying of Christ can be taken as the key to understanding the message, which comes to us from the life of our late beloved Pope John Paul II.

Today we bury his remains in the earth as a seed of immortality - our hearts are full of sadness, yet at the same time of joyful hope and profound gratitude.  These are the sentiments that inspire us, brothers and sisters in Christ, present here in St Peter's Square, in neighboring streets and in various other locations within the city of Rome, where an immense crowd, silently praying, has gathered over the last few days.

I greet all of you from my heart.  In the name of the College of Cardinals, I also wish to express my respects to heads of state, heads of government and the delegations from various countries.  I greet the authorities and official representatives of other churches and Christian communities, and likewise those of different religions.

Next, I greet the archbishops, bishops, priests, religious men and women and the faithful who have come here from every continent - especially the young, whom John Paul II liked to call the future and the hope of the Church.

My greeting is extended, moreover, to all those throughout the world who are united with us through radio and television in this solemn celebration of our beloved Holy Father's funeral.

Follow me - as a young student Karol Wojtyla was thrilled by literature, the theatre, and poetry.  Working in a chemical plant, surrounded and threatened by the Nazi terror, he heard the voice of the Lord: Follow me!   In this extraordinary setting he began to read books of philosophy and theology, and then entered the clandestine seminary established by Cardinal [Adamo Stefano] Sapieha.  After the war he was able to complete his studies in the faculty of theology of the Jagiellonian University of Krakow.

How often, in his letters to priests and in his autobiographical books has he spoken to us about his priesthood, to which he was ordained on 1 November 1946.  In these texts he interprets his priesthood with particular reference to three sayings of the Lord.  First: "You did not choose me, but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last." [John 15:16]   The second saying is: "The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." [John 10:11]   And then: "As the father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love." [John 15:9]

In these three sayings we see the heart and soul of our Holy Father. He really went everywhere, untiringly, in order to bear fruit, fruit that lasts.

"Rise, Let us be on our Way!" is the title of his next-to-last book.

"Rise let us be on our way!" - with these words he roused us from a lethargic faith, from the sleep of the disciples of both yesterday and today.

"Rise, let us be on our way!" he continues to say to us even today.

The Holy Father was a priest to the last, for he offered his life to God for his flock and for the entire human family, in the daily self-oblation for the service of the Church, especially amid the sufferings of his final months.  And in this way he became one with Christ, the Good Shepherd who loves his sheep.  Finally, "abide in my love" - the Pope who tried to meet everyone, who had an ability to forgive and to open his heart to all, tells us once again today, with these words of the Lord, that abiding in the love of Christ we learn, at the school of Christ, the art of true love.

Follow me! In July 1958 the young priest Karol Wojtyla began a new stage in his journey with the Lord and in the footsteps of the Lord.  Karol had gone to the Masuri lakes for his usual vacation, along with a group of young people who loved canoeing.  But he brought with him a letter inviting him to call on the Primate of Poland, Cardinal Wyszynski.

He could guess the purpose of the meeting: he was to be appointed as the auxiliary Bishop of Krakow.  Leaving the academic world, leaving this challenging engagement with young people, leaving the great intellectual endeavor of striving to understand and interpret the mystery of that creature which is man and of communicating to today's world the Christian interpretation of our being - all this must have seemed to him like losing his very self, losing what had become the very human identity of this young priest.

Follow me - Karol Wojtyla accepted the appointment, for he heard in the Church's call the voice of Christ.  And then he realised how true are the Lord's words: "Those who try to make their life secure will lose it, but those who lose their life will keep it." [Luke 17:33]

Our Pope - and we all know this - never wanted to make his own life secure, to keep it for himself.  He wanted to give of himself unreservedly, to the very last moment, for Christ and thus also for us.  And thus he came to experience how everything, which he had given over into the Lord's hands came back to him in a new way.

His love of words, of poetry, of literature, became an essential part of his pastoral mission and gave new vitality, new urgency, new attractiveness to the preaching of the Gospel, even when it is a sign of contradiction.

Follow me! In October 1978 Cardinal Wojtyla once again heard the voice of the Lord.  Once more there took place that dialogue with Peter reported in the gospel of this Mass: "Simon, son of John, do you love me? Feed my sheep!"  To the Lord's question, "Karol, do you love me?" the Archbishop of Krakow answered from the depths of his heart: "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."

The love of Christ was the dominant force in the life of our beloved Holy Father. Anyone who ever saw him pray, who ever heard him preach, knows that.  Thanks to his being profoundly rooted in Christ, he was able to bear a burden, which transcends merely human abilities: that of being the shepherd of Christ's flock, his universal Church.  This is not the time to speak of the specific content of his rich pontificate.

I would like only to read two passages of today's liturgy, which reflect the central elements of his message.

In the first reading, St Peter says (and with St Peter, the Pope himself): "I truly understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.  "You know the message he sent to the people of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ - he is Lord of all." [Acts 10:34-36]

And in the second reading, St Paul (and with St Paul, our late Pope) exhorts us, crying out: "My brothers and sisters, whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, my beloved." [Phil 4:1]

Follow me! Together with the command to feed his flock, Christ proclaimed to Peter that he would die a martyr's death.  With those words, which conclude and sum up the dialogue of love and on the mandate of the universal shepherd, the Lord recalls another dialogue, which took place during the Last Supper.

There Jesus had said: "Where I am going, you cannot come."

Peter said to him: "Lord, where are you going?"

Jesus replied: "Where I am going, you cannot follow me now; but you will follow me afterward." [John 13:33,36]

Jesus from the Supper went towards the Cross, went towards his resurrection - he entered into the paschal mystery; and Peter could not yet follow him.

Now, after his resurrection, comes the time, comes this "afterward".

By shepherding the flock of Christ, Peter enters into the paschal mystery, he goes towards the Cross and resurrection.  The Lord says this in these words: "...when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished.

"But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go." [John 21:18]

In the first years of his pontificate, still young and full of energy, the Holy Father went to the very ends of the earth, guided by Christ.

But afterwards, he increasingly entered into the communion of Christ's sufferings; increasingly he understood the truth of the words: "Someone else will fasten a belt around you."  And in this very communion with the suffering Lord, tirelessly and with renewed intensity, he proclaimed the Gospel, the mystery of that love which goes to the end [cf John 13:1].

He interpreted for us the paschal mystery as a mystery of divine mercy.  In his last book, he wrote: The limit imposed upon evil "is ultimately Divine Mercy".

And reflecting on the assassination attempt, he said: "In sacrificing himself for us all, Christ gave a new meaning to suffering, opening up a new dimension, a new order: the order of love... "It is this suffering which burns and consumes evil with the flame of love and draws forth even from sin a great flowering of good."  Impelled by this vision, the Pope suffered and loved in communion with Christ, and that is why the message of his suffering and his silence proved so eloquent and so fruitful.  Divine mercy: the Holy Father found the purest reflection of God's mercy in the Mother of God.

He, who at an early age had lost his own mother, loved his divine mother all the more.  He heard the words of the crucified Lord as addressed personally to him: "Behold your Mother." And so he did as the beloved disciple did: he took her into his home - Totus tuus.  And from the mother he learned to conform himself to Christ.

None of us can ever forget how in the last Easter Sunday of his life, the Holy Father, marked by suffering, came once more to the window of the Apostolic palace and one last time gave his blessing urbi et orbi.

We can be sure that our beloved Pope is standing today at the window of the Father's house, that he sees us and blesses us.

Yes, bless us, Holy Father. We entrust your dear soul to the mother of God, your Mother, who guided you each day and who will guide you now to the eternal glory of her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.

April 14 - Thursday

ANSWERS TO EASTER QUIZ

Here are the answers to the quiz held at Malpas on Good Friday.   The questions were printed here in the diary on April 1.

1. Joseph of Arimathea
2. Sean Connery
3. U2
4. Rafael Benitez
5. George Patton
6. New York
7. Charles Clark
8. Clint Eastwood
9. Kasabian
10. Forty
11. 1963
12. Chris Ecclestone
13. Rugby League
14. Seven
15. Ant and Dec
16. Ottowa
17. Eric Clapton
18. Ricky Gervais
19. Sleepwalk
20. Fourth

April 15 - Friday

TO THE PEOPLE WE CALL OUR FRIENDS

Martin (Glasgow 30s) sent this personal questionnaire to a few of us.  It might be something you would consider filling in and sending to friends.  Copy me in.  These are my answers.

Martin writes:

I remember doing this ?aire about 18 months ago. Interesting to note the changes in doing it again. Would love to see your own thoughts.  Copy (not forward) this e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send.  Change all of the answers that apply to you.  Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.  It can't hurt to learn more about the people we call our friends........

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
Live in a community of 4 priests in a presbytery in a town centre parish in Stockport.  Have a room and office as well as the 2030 office. 

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING JUST NOW?
"The Blackwell Companion to Postmodern Theology", edited by Graham Ward and, for putting me to sleep, "Avenger" by Frederick Forsyth.

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Don't know.

4. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME
Risk, the game of world domination, though have not played it for years.

5. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
The best one I've found on a train recently was "4-4-2" (football).

6. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
Have never smoked, but love the first whiff of a newly lit cigarette in the open air.

7. FAVOURITE SOUND?
Running water, waves, waterfalls.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Waking up in the middle of the night.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE
MORNING?
Where am I?

10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?
Gold

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE 'PHONE?
Does anybody answer the phone these days?

12. SIX ADJECTIVES TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Happy, lazy, blessed, angry, laid back, trying.

13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
To keep trying.  Could think of better answers, but this is the truest to me.

14. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Chocolate.

15.CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Vanilla.

16.DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
When I was younger I used to like 'excuses' to drive fast.  Pretty slow now, though still looking for quickest lane at a junction.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?
Not since the teddy bear I inherited from my sister had to be passed on to my younger brother.  An early lesson in sacrifice.  Have I got over it?

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Cool.

19.WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
At Senior Seminary I was the only student driver and we had an old Austin A40.  Was quite a mechanic in those days.  Had to be.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Pope John Paul II, even though I did briefly meet him a couple of times already (see 3 April).

21. FAVOURITE DRINK?
Pineapple juice.

22. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
08/08/51

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yes.

24. ANY JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Nothing better than being a priest and religious if that is your vocation, but in another life would be great to work for an advertising agency where you only had to come up with spell-binding slogan every week or so, and, like a priest, all of life is related to your job.

25. EVER BEEN/ARE IN LOVE?
No.  No.  God might be disappointed, but he is bigger than that and I am beginning to accept that he is in love with me.

26. IS THE GLASS HALF-FULL OR HALF-EMPTY?
It's likely gone off.  At the banquet of life there are many glasses at my place.  Some are full to overflowing.  Others less so.

27. LAST VIDEO YOU WATCHED?
A DVD of 'True Confessions' with Robert de Niro.  A priest saves his soul despite his sordid surroundings.  Got it for £2.49p in Borders January sale to watch in Italian before going to Rome, but soon turned to English.

28. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
Got a "Learn yourself Qwerty" from the library when I was 16.

29. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Storage drawers which I don't use.  Must dust them out sometime.

30. FAVOURITE NUMBERS?
1, 3, 5, 7 ,11, 13, 17, 19...... 53.  Maybe trying to persuade myself I'm still in my prime.

31. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS?
A man of great hidden depths and potential.

32. NAME A PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Duncan (NW 30s).

33. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Duncan, now that I've mentioned him in 32.

April 16 - Saturday

SERMON AT MASS FOR THE POPE

In the parish in Stockport we had a special Mass this evening to commemorate the life of the Pope.  I was preaching.  There was so much that could be said, but I didn't want to go on too long.  I said some of the things that I've already mentioned in the diary, like meeting the Pope, defending his teaching, some of the group going to Rome, the worldwide impact of his life and death.  Here are some other aspects that came into my thoughts and sermon.

April 17 - Sunday

LONDON 20S AND 30S REVIEW MEETINGS

Who said they liked meetings.  Three today in London.  Alpha Course (see Tuesday) and review meetings for 20s and 30s.  I was going to send them the minutes of the inter-group review in September and the ethos and principles for Project 2030 that was sent round in December, but decided there was enough internal agenda to keep us going on Sunday evening, not necessarily the best time for a meeting.

The 20s were at 5pm.  Here are some of the points that came up, in no particular order, according to my memory.  Thankfully Catherine was taking minutes.